Why do I write?
First, and foremost, I am a fiction writer with an engineering background, and reasonable scientific literacy. I am also a trauma survivor, who writes as a form of healing.
I have so many interests, and thoughts in my head, and would like to have a place on the internet to put the summation of what I’ve learned after going down a research deep-dive, so that I can reference it later, and succinctly point my real-life friends to my opinions about topics I’m passionate about.
As with any fiction writer, I also must write about the goings on in the fictional world that has been with me for the past decade, as otherwise I would not be able to think talk or write about anything else.
What do I write about?
There are two distinct written sections on this blog. The Fiction section, is where I post— well you guessed it— fiction. The fictional world that has been with me since my first (and only) creative writing assignment in college, is called Huetopia. The magic system in this world is based on the use of color. One of the many inspirations for this world came from a study that was published comparing which colors westerners were able to differentiate, as compared to an indigenous tribe in Nam
Each Monday, I publish a post set in the world, Huetopia. In this world, color is an intrinsic property of matter, and is used as the magic system of the world. Each post within Huetopia (unless explicitly stated otherwise), is a diegetic piece of world-building. Most of the time it will be written by “Skylar Seacrest”, my pen name, and the in-universe observer of lots of events. However, other characters do pop in, with writings of their own, that may or may not be incorporated into a narrative.
On Wednesdays (but not every Wednesday) I post to the Blog section, a piece of writing, usually nonfiction, that is not related to the Huetopia world. Usually I’m writing about my life, but it often comes in the form of long-form research essays on a topic I’m interested in. While I keep the tone relatively informal, I do heavily reference and summarize the relevant literature. Oftentimes these lead to a broader point that is the summation of my understanding of the topic, and why or how it relates to my experiences, or why I use it. These blog posts double as a way for me to process my lived experiences in a way that is safe and analytical, but can still give insight about my emotional state. This is where I will more explicitly reference my personal demographics, and how they affect the lens through which I view the topic.
My Wednesday posts are also a publication that I’m writing for myself. A lot of academic writing is written for an audience of other academics within the hyper-specific field that the paper is in. Not everybody is able to access the contents of these papers, as domain-specific jargon exists. When I write in the blog, my intention is to make the content accessible to non-experts. I am not an expert in most of the topics I want to write about, so I often throw in jokes, pictures, and explanations to keep my attention, and simplify the topic to something easily digestible.
My Goals
I want to find my corner of the internet, and to create a place for me to share may experiences of the world. I want to be come more proficient at writing, and to be more comfortable with informal writing that other people read. I also want to find people who are also interested in my special-interest of the month!
I am a writer, but I’m also a researcher. I want to be able to share all of the facts I’ve collected with an audience who wants to read about it, and share their collection of facts and hypotheses.
Ideally, this would grow, as I get a dopamine hit, each time I see that somebody has read and is interested in my work.
Why Subscribe?
Due to the blended nature of this blog, and the fact that outside of my fictional writing I have a broad spectrum of interests, I think that there is likely to be a topic that you are interested in.
I would subscribe to my feed. It is fun having one publication that both gives fun fantasy, and well-researched analyses that have doodles interspersed.
Why is my voice unique?
I do believe that every writer has their unique voice. I know that the majority of my voice comes out through my fictional writing, as it allows me to play around with different perspectives, and think through the consequences of my world-building on the attitudes of my characters.
However, I do know that every author puts some of their own spin into their work.
Some aspects that make up who I am included the following:
I am a transgender man (he/him are the only acceptable pronouns for me)
I do not pass as a cis man, and am somewhat in the middle of medical stuff.
I deeply dislike direct questions about my medical history.
My gender presentation is very androgynous
I use the term queer do describe my sexual orientation. I do not like dealing with super specifics, as I do not like being put into boxes. The best label that I use is bisexual, as gender, anatomy, and presentation are not factors that affect attraction.
I am most happy and healthy engaging in a form of Ethical non-monogamy, called solo-polyamory, where I have multiple partners, and they come and go, but I have no interest in pursuing a “traditional-marriage-like romantic relationship”
Ethnically, and culturally I am Jewish. I don’t like commenting about the religion side of it. My childhood family dynamics more closely resemble a second-generation immigrant family, than a “generic white American family”1
This is prescient as I currently live in a place with many practicing Christians of various denominations. I have many stories where I am ignorant about some Christian practices.
I have a complicated history with this, as it is deeply entwined with my abusive childhood environment, and I am still sorting out how I feel about it.
Judaism is a religion, a culture and an ethnic group, and I sometimes feel really strange about identifying as a religion, but I don’t want to ignore my heritage.
I sometimes feel invisible when in queer spaces, especial ones that have a huge culture of suppressing the voices of white2 people in order to uplift BIPOC. I absolutely respect this attitude, however, sometimes I feel invisible, because I very much do experience antisemitism, but feel that I cannot speak up because I am completely white-passing. This ultimately means that I’m often wary of taking up space.
My story includes childhood sexual abuse, grooming starting at a very young age, but continued until I moved away, at the hands of a parent. I do not talk about this often. I will not likely go into details unless relevant.
If I do decide to talk about it in a Wednesday post, I likely will put paywall features in place to protect myself from the incorrect type of feedback.
This is a post I would make as a part of my healing journey.
I grew up in a high-control environment, and have a past that is weirdly similar to some cult survivor stories.
I am neurodivergent. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, but I strongly suspect I also have autistic traits and dyslexic/dysgraphic traits3.
This means that I have a much more systemic thinking process than I wish I had, so posts are often heavily edited, to ensure that when I do switch topics I can transition between them.
I also am highly likely to have spelling mistakes within my posts. I try my best to avoid them, but some will slip through.
The above summarizes some of the pieces of the puzzle. Each of these factors are all intrinsically linked to each other. The blog section of my post will likely focus in on one or more of these factors. My fiction is a place where I have created a world where a lot of the things that make me different be the “cultural norm”, and then place as “normal” person in that environment, and show their queerness.
I am using this a an extremely broad generalization based on the observed patterns on a macroscopic level, of how families interact with their communities. This is in fact a sweepingly broad generalization with so much nuance that it can take its own post.
Look, I’m limited by language okay. I’m using white people, to refer to the class of people least likely to experience racial discrimination.
I have no diagnoses for dyslexia, dysgraphia, or autism. I do not want to take a label away from people who do have diagnoses. However, the most reliable way to figure out if you are autistic, given that you know you have ADHD is by listening to how people with Autism and ADHD (AuDHD) experience the world. Furthermore, I looked at some diagnostic criteria, and common symptoms of dyslexia seen in adults who may not have had interventions in childhood. I have a lot of struggles that are similar. I do not see that a diagnosis here would necessarily be useful, as I do not think that I meet all diagnostic criteria. However, this bit about myself allows me to know to look for accessibility tools that can help me. Many of these features included simple electronic tools, such as having a screen reader, or changing a font with more asymmetry.
